Do that with me.

Now love's a broken record that's been skipping in my head,
I keep singing yesterday - why we have to play these games we play

I ain't tripping, I'm just missing you. You know what I'm saying, you know what I mean. Every now and then when I'm all alone, I'd be wishing that you would call me on the telephone. Say you want me back but you never do. I feel like such a fool, there's nothing I can do. I'm such a fool for you.

[A very random update.]

I suddenly feel very bleargh.

Maybe a greater thing will happen, maybe all will see. Maybe our love will catch like fire, as it burns through me.

What a beautiful smile, can you stay for a while?

My beautiful love..

Before Sunrise is one of the sweetest movies I have ever seen. Initially, honestly..I found it a tad boring but after a while, it was intriguing. Basically it's about how two people fall in love with each other after spending just one night together, talking.

It's a very..thinking movie. It's not like any other love story where you can sit back and enjoy the cliched plot. This one seems really like the conversation two people who don't know each other would really have.

On the way, there's the mutual sharing of hopes, jokes, dreams, worry and wonder. It's a day to linger in the memories. And a valentine to young love forever.

[Oh! The best part was that I actually understood abiit of the German phrases, lol.]

Feels like, I'm standing in a timeless dream
Of light mists, of pale amber rose
Feels like, I'm lost in a deep cloud of heavenly scent
Touching, discovering you

Those days, of warm rains come rushing back to me
Miles of windless, summer night air
Secret moments, shared in the heat of the afternoon
Out of the stillness, soft spoken words

I love you, always forever
Near and far, closer together
Everywhere, I will be with you
Everyday, I will devour you
I love you, always forever
Near and far, closer together
Everywhere, I will be with you
Everyday, I will devour you

You've got, the most unbelievable
blue eyes I've ever seen
You've got, me almost melt away
As we lay there, under a blue sky
with pure white stars
Exotic sweetness, a magical time

Say you'll love, love me forever
Never stop, not for whatever
Near and far and always and
everywhere and everything

Say you'll love, love me forever
Never stop, not for whatever
Near and far and always and
everywhere and everything

Say you'll love, love me forever
Never stop, not for whatever
Near and far and always and
everywhere and everything

Smack that -

There is no secret to letting your little light shine. You were born shining. You are a star. You have stardust in your DNA that came down through the eons to you from what scientists call the "big bang" way back when our universe began beginning - and so shining is your cosmological heritage. It is neither your fault nor to your great credit. It is your nature. And within you is the potential for greatness - your own particular kind of greatness. So letting your little light shine is just a matter of being true to yourself. It is not rocket science - it's doing what comes naturally to you.

How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like -

Hey ho! Guess who finally has internet access again! Haha

It's been fun having Adilah bunk in with me at my cousin's apartment. She's so nice by the way! Stocked up the fridge with pizza, chocolate chip cookies [which we finished], juices, chocolates and ice cream! =)

But this can't keep up or we'll both get very fat, what with Fong Seng just across the road and the discovery of banana cheese prata. Haha.

I ordered the brownie cake from a booth at the bazaar in the forum just now. Hopefully my mom'll like the mini-surprise. Hehe..it's fun surprising people and seeing their reactions.

I want to shop tomorrow. I want to buy the Strawberry bath wash from BodyShop and try to find the Vanilla one. Next to my cousin's bathtub was so many nice&yummy-sounding bubble bath washes which she got from Marks and Spencers. I waanttt!

And I'm so hungryy. I can't wait to finally eat home-cooked food again. This year is the first time ever [barring prom] I buka-ed outside. It's not that fun. My sisters used to buka outside alot and I used the be the only one stuck at home, wishing I could actually buka outside. Now that I can, I realize that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Also, I cannot wait to have Shahrul back. Been having so many girl-talk sessions with Adilah which helped me vent what I'm feeling. Hudy and Liza's boyfriends will be entering NS next year. Shahrul has a little left to go before commissioning. And in two years time, he'll be joining me. Am I happy? Honestly? It's hard hanging on. Sometimes I think too much about things then I remember his face at a particular moment or something especially sweet and caring that he's done for me and then I remember that it's all worth it.

It's easy to question a relationship. Don't judge me for that. But when you start questioning it and at the same time, you're still hanging on, that's when I hope you realize that deep inside - you know that what you have is worth hanging on for.

[From Meghna's blog:]

"Just because you can't say something doesn't mean you don't want to, you can want to very much. You can be with a person and be happy with them, and not love them, or you can love someone and not want to be with them. You don't need to love someone...to want them.

Well, it's frustrating.

When what your brain tells you what you want and what you actually want dont match up, it's exhausting. And it's complicated. Well, that's life and life...sucks."

-Grey's Anatomy

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok -
Yeah I try to believe you,
But I don't.

Give me a little time,
Leave me alone for a little while,
Maybe it's not too late -
not today, today, today, today, today.

I'm feeling very very tired right now. There's so many chapters to study for Econs! So many that I don't know where to start. Hmmmm.

Studies aside, I feel confused all over again. But it's for a different reason this time. This time it's the 'cookie dough' thing that I'm facing. I don't know. Maybe it'll get better soon. Hopefully.

I reallyyy want to go to the beach. I really really want to blade then find a quiet spot to clear my mind.

And I know, I'm not ready. Maybe tomorrow.

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind.

Oh I found myself and ran away.

I wish Shahrul was in NUS already. I can't wait for him to experience all that I'm experiencing, to make new friends and discover new things. It's so much fun to have the same circle of friends, to enjoy doing things in a group together. We never really had that.

Damn NS for taking my boyfriend away from me.

He just called me and halfway through the conversation asked me to check Soccernet for him. Haha, some things will never change.

Raise your voice.

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me.

Private Emotion

Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
And it shines on you baby can't you see
You're the only one who can shine for me

It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me

When your soul is tired and your heart is weak
Do you think of love as one way street
Well it runs both ways, open up your eyes
Can't you see me here, how can you deny

Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
It takes a lot to laugh as your tears go by
But you can find me here till your tears run dry

Today after buka, I read through my diary. The written one.

So many entries, so many thoughts, so many emotions.

Can't believe I encountered all that and I can't believe how funny I sounded trying to give both sides of a story and trying to see things from a different perspective. Of course, it all seems so silly now.

Silly but funny and heartwarming. (:

I wonder if Shahrul is making 'water bombs' right now.

From the number of times I've updated my blog today, well..you can really see how very bored I am.

Last night was fun eating the peach strudel at Ritz. Thanks for introducing us to the place, Shaza! Haha the place itself was very nice too. Despite being beside the road, it had a very relaxing atmosphere. Felt like I could have stayed there for almost forever. =)

I like to feel his eyes on me when I look away.

I have yet to find my baju raya.

I want to star-gaze.

I want a picnic under the stars. Eat lasagna, strawberries, peaches and sit barefoot on a blanket under the stars. [okay i'll add a moon in my daydream for shaza!]

I want to go for Starlight Cinema. Even though my friends who went before didn't really like it, I just want to.

Okay? =)

I've seen it all
It was never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you ~*

I just checked IVLE and...

BHAM! 2 upcoming German tests.

I can't believe I didn't learn my lesson after being free of Malay. Heh.

I see you, the only one who knew me
But now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong.

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

The predator:


The unsuspecting prey:

Shaza sent me an email. So sweet of her. Haha..I'm lucky to have them. =)

I feel very confused. Have been feeling very confused these past few days. But for some reason, I feel so much better tonight. I feel like I just want to be alone to sort out everything that has been going on - sometimes, my life revolves too fast for my own good - but at the same time, I feel as though everything will turn out all right in the end and that I don't have to be sad anymore. =)

I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I've not yet become a cookie for whoever it is, to eat me.

Girl, put your records on.

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon -
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sombre and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the road side,
(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you,
Gotta love that afro hairdo.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Just more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer.
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow